Pertinent ( it can't be left out)
I was conversing with a young married woman, and at some point in our conversation, I started feeling very disappointed and so sad because of how the conversation was going. Apparently, she doesn't believe in love. In her own words "love doesn't exist". So I asked if the non-existence of love was by her making or by her spouse, and she replied, "from both sides". And I thought to myself (that is even worse). As sad as I was, the conversation continued and I realised that there was a problem or there had to be a problem somewhere and that the problem will have a solution if they could be civil enough to perform a root cause analysis.
Even as I write this, I know there are many people (millions) who agree with this woman but are still in relationships and are probably going to marry that person, (we all have our reasons for our decisions and actions) then a new life begins... Well in as much as I know that love isn't the only reason to get married, I like to think that it is at least one of the first three reasons, which automatically makes it a notch better than the 4th, 5th, 6th reasons and counting.
I am not writing this to convince anyone that love is real. I am cognisant that the hassle and bustle of daily living doesn't exactly put us in the right frame of mind, hence denying us time to express love and be loved. My point is, we can’t truly love one another (opposite or same sex) if we haven't acknowledged and experienced the love of God (1John 4:8). This verse says that God is love. When I came across this verse, I kept trying to understand what it meant by "God is Love". I am sure you hear people call God all kinds of names, based on what they can relate to; God of peace, God of justice, God of grace, but not God of love because God himself is love, He is an epitome of love. We would not be able to recognise, appreciate and then accept true love if we don't know that God who is love is a standard for measuring the kind of love we should accept.
Do you know that God loves you so much that He requires that any man or woman who must love you, should do so the way he wants you to be loved. The way you are loved, or the measure by which you are loved, is the measure by which you are treated. Hence, we get the exact kind of love we accept or accepted. We can only find true love in God, and that love should transcend in our relationships or marriages.
For the Ladies -- it is a popular answer that you ask a lady the kind of man she will like to marry and she goes, "I want a God fearing man, handsome ... (we know the rest) but the questions are; do you really want a God fearing man? What is your understanding of a God fearing man? (or do you just say it, so it doesn't seem like you are not representing the Christian fold well). Do you know that a man that fears God may not necessarily love and respect Him? Do you know that there is a difference between a 'God fearing man' and a man that loves and respects God? Do you know that you can fear and not love / respect a person? But you can't love and respect a person without fearing that person. So which do you really want and mean?
I say this like all the time, Christianity is nothing to be ashamed of. I see very good looking Christian brothers and I wonder why I should settle for less. I would rather go for a person who truly understands the love of God and knows that before loving me, he has to be in love with Jesus first, and I wouldn't mind the second place because the knowledge of the first place (Jesus Christ) is the reason why the relationship or marriage would blossom. In Him we live and move and have our being (Acts 17: 28).
It is pertinent that we really seek to know and understand our role as women in relationships and marriage, we should be aware that saying "Yes" or "No" to the wrong person would only increase the rate of broken hearts, divorce, depression, and hatred. I feel that we have the key to begin any form of relationship, nothing happens until you give a man the green light either by spoken affirmation or body language. Surely it is when we say the anticipated 'Yes' that a man begins to gain the great feeling of ownership.
I urge us (both guys and ladies) to figure out exactly what we want, accept it, understand it, pray for direction and the perfect will of God. Know that it all begins with a 'Yes' or a 'No'. Don't accept what you don't know. Since you now know or you are reminded of what you have forgotten, make a decision to be loved the way God wants you to be loved and demand for it, not by nagging, shouting or quarrels, but by your attitude. Robert Atkinson said "Attitude is everything".
My best friend sees the love of God as a nutritious soil. In his words " I saw his love as the soil. We plant our love in His nutritious soil and our love will be able to grow".
In other words, our love dies or fades when rooted in common soils, there needs to be a solid base upon which you can nurture that love.
We were not created to accept just any kind of love, Adam said "this is the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh ... for she was taken out of me" now that is deep! This statement signifies that he acknowledged his woman as being from him, which means whatever he did to her he did to himself too. Adam knew how to love and reciprocated accordingly.
Meditate on this truth - 1 John 4: 7, 8, 11, 12, 16, 18 – 21.
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Love
Chidimma
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