Tyranny of "If Only" And " What If"

     

If only I had more opportunity, if only I had a better start in life, if only I had more education, if only I had a father/mother, if only I was not the only child, if only I had more connections, if only I studied harder, if only I had more faith, if only I was slim, if only I was more beautiful/handsome, if only I was born as a citizen of another country, if only I had met him/her earlier, if only I were tall,  if only I were short, if only I had better parents, if only I knew what I know now, if only I took a minute to listen, if only I was rich, if only I were smart, if only I had planned, if only I didn’t fall ill, if only he/she  were alive, if only I had someone to help me. If only I had not been abused, if only I weren’t so tall. If only, if only, if only…….

 God can do something with that little you have, no matter how unimpressive it is, stop staring at what you don’t have or what you have lost and focus on taking an inventory of what you do have. Refuse to live in the tyranny of “if only (s)” and “what if (s)”.

It is not our abilities that God desires, rather our availability. You need to see possibilities in a venture and not problems, if you must gain productivity. Most of us spend so much time counting the things we don’t have and blaming things and people for where we find ourselves. STOP FOOLING YOURSELF and get it together. If you don’t start finding what to do with what you have at the moment, you might never go past where you are.

A good example is the parable of talent (Matthew 25 vs 14-30) about the servants who were given talents by their masters according to their abilities. When the master returned the servant who was given 5 talents multiplied his talents by 5 more, likewise the servant with 3 talents by three more, while on the other hand, the servant who was given 1 talent, dug a hole and buried his talent so as to return it to his master upon his return that servant did nothing, no trading whatsoever or at least an investment to yield some amount of interest and when the master returned, of cause with anger he took the one talent away from him and gave it to the one with 10 talents and rebuked him. 

I am sure the “one talent servant” would have had the “if only” phrases on his mind while the master was away (he probably said things like “if only mine wasn’t so small, if only I had 4 talents, if only my master didn’t hate me so… But the question is, what can you produce with the little that has been entrusted in you? What impact would you pride yourself to have created in the life of others (no matter how little) with that supposed insignificant talent of yours? What have you been able to change with those skills?

Instead of completing the “if only” phrase, why not sit back and accept what you haven’t got, then strategize on how to get MORE THAN YOU LACK by using what you have got. (I am just saying)

“What if” can just be as devastating as “if only” when applied in a negative manner. In the words of Joyce Meyer; “Negatively anticipating future experiences is potentially more devastating than actually experiencing the problem. 

Fear is one of the things that can make a person be in a constant negative anticipation. In fact, the word fear is a topic for another day (I will write about it soon). Living in fear is one way to kill yourself slow but surely. Refuse to live in fear, rather in faith.

And the “what if (s)” goes thus; what if I die early? What if I am embarrassed? What if I fail? What if my husband/wife leaves me for someone better? What if I lose my job? What if I don’t get another job? What if the business deal fails? What if I can’t do it?

Anyone could be miserable with that kind of thinking no matter how polished, educated, religious, poise and spiritual they are, it is a thing of the mind. Having the “what if (s)” simply means you would never take on any task and finish it. This does not rule out the fact that, of cause sometimes one has to weigh options both positive and negative in other to make the good decisions. Now I am talking about the habitual pessimist, the truth is, most of the time you don’t intend to be that way but hey, you have to be aware and make conscious effort not to take that part of thinking.

Imagine that you got a contract, and those pessimistic thoughts begin to crawl in, what if I don’t deliver? What if I start executing this project or job and the vendors disappoint me? What if they later find out that I may not be qualified to have gotten the contract in the first place? What if I don’t make enough profit to cover my expenses? The outcome of this kind of thinking would probably be a refusal of the contract or a transfer. Believe it or not I have seen people do this and next thing the person says is “I didn’t think I could handle a job that big, you know we are still going on a small scale for now”. Really!!! What an excuse.

When fear sets in your mind, it paints a different picture and as you dwell on those thoughts it gradually becomes real (only to you). Begin to put a stop to the stronghold of fear in your mind and choose to think differently.

Often people want their problems to vanish, but are unwilling to do what they need to do to help themselves. My remedy is that you always turn to God’s word which strengthens and keeps you moving in the midst of all fears.

Have a fruitful week.

Meditate on this Truth; Matthew 25 vs 29, &  2 Timothy 1 vs 7

“ 'If only' is a thief of what could be and 'what if is the Siamese twin." – Chidimma Okereke

Love,